Public health emergencies are not easy for anyone to comprehend or accept.
As a parent or caregiver you might find yourself feeling unsure about how to talk to children about COVID-19 and provide them with the necessary emotional support, while at the same time deal with your own fears and concerns.
What you need to know is that by creating an open environment where children feel free to ask questions and express emotions, parents can help them cope with stressful events and experiences and reduce the risk of long-lasting emotional difficulties.
This current situation is also an opportunity to slow down your pace, change your priorities, connect with others, and strengthen your family bonds.
Remain calm and reassuring
It is very important to remember that children look to adults for guidance on how to react to stressful events. It can be helpful to talk to other adults about your fears and concerns so you can appear more calm and confident when talking to your children.
Children will react to and follow your verbal and nonverbal reactions.
What you say and do about COVID-19 has a direct effect on children’s anxiety.
If true, emphasize to children that they and your family are fine.
Remind them that you and other adults in the community are there to keep them safe and healthy.
Let children talk about their concerns and help re-frame them into the appropriate perspective.
Remind children this is a temporary situation and that soon things will be back to normal.
Be honest and accurate
In the absence of factual information, children often imagine situations far worse than they are in reality. On the other hand, it is important to remember that the information we provide to children do not need to be exhaustive and that this mainly depends on children's individual characteristics (i.e. their age, personality, etc).
What we do know is that COVID-19 is contagious, that the severity of illness related to this virus can vary from individual to individual, and that there are steps we can take to prevent the spread of infection (See also: "Kids and COVID-19: What parents should know") .
Let children lead the conversation and provide them with simple and honest answers.
Ask children what their questions are and what they have concerns about, and try not to provide them with additional information.
Help children understand the basic concepts of disease prevention and control.
Amplify positive and hopeful stories of people who have experienced Covid-19.
Make yourself available for discussions
Children need your calm, empathetic presence. Demonstrate that you’re listening by giving them your full attention, and make sure they understand that they can talk to you whenever they like.
It is important that children know they have someone who will listen to them.
Make time for your children.
Make sure to listen to children’s concerns and answer their questions in an age-appropriate manner.
Encourage them to express and communicate their feelings. Be careful not to dismiss children's feelings.
Remember that children express their feelings, not only through conversation, but also through writing, drawing, playing, singing etc.
Discuss the different feelings they may be experiencing and explain that these are normal reactions to an unusual situation.
Make sure that you are not leaving children in a state of distress after your conversation is over. As you wrap up, try to gauge their level of anxiety by watching their body language, considering whether they’re using their usual tone of voice and watching their breathing.
Monitor television viewing and social media
Young children’s media exposure should be very limited. Parents also need to monitor their child’s time online and, depending on their age, use of social networking sites. For older children, media literacy lessons can, not only help them improve their abilities to detect misinformation, but also empower them to be critical thinkers and make them effective communicators and active citizens.
Limit television viewing or access to information on the Internet and through social media.
Try to avoid watching or listening to information that might be upsetting when your children are present.
Be aware that developmentally inappropriate information (i.e., information designed for adults) can cause anxiety or confusion, particularly in young children.
Speak to your child about how many stories about COVID-19 on the Internet may be based on rumors and inaccurate information.
Model self-care and set routines
When we are facing adversity it can be difficult to remember to, or remain motivated to, take care of ourselves. However, taking care of our bodies is one of the most important ways in which we can improve our mental health. When adults are in good physical and emotional health, they are more likely to be readily available to support the children they care about.
Try to stick to your daily routine as much as possible in order to protect and improve your emotional well-being.
Look for alternative ways to do things in order to minimize frustration.
Engage in healthy activities that you enjoy and find relaxing.
Shift expectations and priorities to focus more on what gives you meaning, purpose, or fulfillment.
Stay connected and maintain your social network.
Show children how to take care of themselves.
Strengthen family bonds
The fact that the family spends more time at home together provides the opportunity to strengthen family relationships.
Take advantage of being asked to stay home and use this time to interact. Try to avoid "being alone together".
Keep family rituals which offer a set time for families to get together and give each other the attention needed.
Have children participate in making the “new routine” for the next few weeks. Sit down together and make a new structure for home-based days (i.e. setting mealtimes, schoolwork time, different activities for each day etc).
Do not forget that children need unstructured play and creative outlets to work through stress and big emotions, so make sure to protect their downtime.
Remember to give the one-to-one time to each of your children.
Consider this time together as an opportunity for your family to make good memories.
Expect the conflicts that will arise as a result of spending too much time together. Remember that strong families identify their problems and talk them through rather than hurt each other with insulting words and behaviors.
Highlight positive incidents and take positive actions
Crises often tend to bring out the best in people. Hearing stories of people who show altruism and compassion in difficult times triggers the experience of positive emotions, fuels optimism and makes us want to act in similar ways ourselves.
Highlight and discuss in detail about families and friends who help each other out, and people who take steps to prevent the spread of the illness.
Focus on positive news stories.
Check in on other people in your life regularly (i.e. family, friends, neighbors).
Try to be of help to people in need.
Reach out to people who may be feeling alone or concerned.
Express your gratitude to people who go out of their way for you.
Resources
“COVID-19: How to Help Kids Deal With School Closings and Cancelled Plans.” Nationwide Children's Hospital, www.nationwidechildrens.org/family-resources-education/700childrens/2020/03/school-closings-cancelled-plans.
Fassler, D. Talking to Children About Coronavirus (COVID19). American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry, www.aacap.org/App_Themes/AACAP/Docs/latest_news/2020/Coronavirus_COVID19__Children.pdf.
“How Teachers Can Talk to Children about Coronavirus Disease (COVID-19).” UNICEF, www.unicef.org/coronavirus/how-teachers-can-talk-children-about-coronavirus-disease-covid-19.
National Commission on Children and Disasters. (2010). National Commission on Children and Disasters: 2010 report to the President and Congress (AHRQ Publication No. 10-MO37). Rockville, MD: Agency for Healthcare Research and Quality. Retrieved from http://archive.ahrq.gov/prep/nccdreport/nccdreport.pdf [PDF - 1.15 MB]
Perry, Lauren. “Kids and COVID-19: What Parents Should Know.” Yale School of Medicine, Yale School of Medicine, 12 Mar. 2020, medicine.yale.edu/news-article/22996/.
Suttie, Jill, et al. “How to Keep the Greater Good in Mind During the Coronavirus Outbreak.” Greater Good, greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/how_to_keep_the_greater_good_in_mind_during_the_coronavirus_outbreak.
“Talking to Children About COVID-19 (Coronavirus): A Parent Resource.” National Association of School Psychologists (NASP), www.nasponline.org/resources-and-publications/resources-and-podcasts/school-climate-safety-and-crisis/health-crisis-resources/talking-to-children-about-covid-19-(coronavirus)-a-parent-resource.
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