Noticing the Good: Why Positive Emotions Deserve More of Our Attention

What if we’re missing the most meaningful parts of life—not because they aren’t there, but because we’re too busy bracing for what might go wrong?

Some days, we move through life like we’re bracing for impact.
Scanning for what might go wrong.
Waiting for the next email, the next demand, the next mistake.

This isn’t a character flaw.
It’s a protective reflex built into our nervous system.
Our brains evolved to prioritise threats over joys.

A missed danger could be fatal.
A missed moment of beauty?
In evolutionary terms, it didn’t matter.

But today, it does.

We don’t live in constant physical danger anymore, but our minds and bodies still react as if we do.
And in the background of our modern lives—beneath the busyness, beneath the striving—something essential is being lost:

Our ability to experience and make space for positive emotions.

Why it matters

Positive emotions are not trivial or optional.
They’re not a luxury for when the real work is done.

They are biological signals—indicators that something is safe, meaningful, nourishing.
They are also building blocks.

According to psychologist Barbara Fredrickson’s broaden-and-build theory, positive emotions expand our awareness, open our thinking, and help us build enduring personal resources.

When we feel:

• Joy, we are more likely to engage, connect, and explore.

• Gratitude, we strengthen bonds and remember what matters.

• Awe, we experience humility and connection to something larger.

• Serenity, we find a sense of wholeness in the present moment.

These experiences don’t just feel good in the moment.
They help us recover faster from setbacks.
They promote creativity, empathy, and better decision-making.
They improve physical health, too—lowering blood pressure, improving immunity, and buffering against the effects of chronic stress.

But here is the truth:

We can’t benefit from what we don’t feel.
And we often don’t feel it—not because it isn’t there, but because we’re not present enough to notice.

Positive emotions are quiet. And easily missed.

They don’t barge in like anger or anxiety.

They whisper.

They live in:

• The stillness of early morning

• The quick text that makes you smile

• The warmth of a clean kitchen

• The laugh that breaks tension mid-conversation.

They are subtle.

Which means they’re often drowned out by the noise of urgency, self-criticism, or distraction.

We are often more fluent in what’s wrong than what is right.
We notice the 10% that’s off before we notice the 90% that’s steady.
This isn’t personal—it’s neurological.

The negativity bias is a well-documented phenomenon.
Our brains are wired to remember and respond to threats more vividly than neutral or pleasant events.
This was helpful when survival was uncertain.
Today, it can leave us emotionally imbalanced.

Common barriers to positive emotion

• Busyness: Constant activity dulls our emotional sensitivity. If there’s no space to pause, there is no space to feel.

• Emotional suppression: Some of us learned early on not to trust good feelings. We fear they’ll be taken away, or that they make us vulnerable.

• Perfectionism: When nothing ever feels “enough,” we rarely let ourselves celebrate what is.

• Hyper-focus on self-improvement: Ironically, the more we focus on “fixing” ourselves, the less we feel permission to rest in moments of contentment.

And perhaps most invisibly:

• Underdeveloped emotional literacy.
  We simply don’t have the language—or habit—of noticing, naming, and staying with positive emotions long enough to let them shape us.

Letting the good in: a practice, not a personality trait

This is not about becoming endlessly upbeat.
It’s not about pretending everything is fine or chasing happiness.
It’s about allowing more of what is already present to register.

Try this:

• Name it
  When something feels good, name the emotion explicitly: This is calm. This is pride. This is relief.
  Naming activates neural pathways and helps the experience land more fully.

• Savor it
  Instead of rushing on, take 15–30 seconds to stay with the sensation.
  Let it expand in your body.
  Notice where you feel it.
  What expression does it bring to your face?
  This moment of savoring rewires your brain over time.

• Anchor it
  Pair everyday tasks with a moment of presence or appreciation:
  – Drinking tea → Notice the warmth
  – Walking → Feel your body moving
  – Sending a message → Appreciate the connection

• Share it
  Tell someone about a small win or something beautiful you saw.
  Positive emotion is contagious—sharing it deepens your experience and uplifts others.

• Look for micro-moments
  Don’t wait for the weekend or the vacation.
  Look for beauty and connection in the ordinary.
  This is where most of life happens.

Questions for reflection

• When was the last time you felt a positive emotion fully? What helped you notice it?

• Which positive emotions come easily to you? Which are harder to access? Why do you think that is?

• Are there places in your life where joy or pride feel “unearned” or unsafe?

• What would change if you allowed more room for enjoyment—not as a reward, but as part of daily life?

A different kind of strength

Letting in the good isn’t weakness.
It’s courage.

Because it asks us to stop bracing.
To put down our armor, if only for a moment.
To acknowledge that, even in the midst of complexity, there is softness.

And that this softness can be trusted.

The more we attune to what is nourishing, the more we build our capacity to weather what is hard.
This is how we become not just resilient—but resourced.

Not just surviving—but able to take in what’s good and true and worth keeping.

Start here

Right now, look around.
What’s one thing—just one—that is beautiful, peaceful, amusing, or satisfying?

Hold your attention there for five seconds longer than you normally would.
Let it register.

Let it matter.

This is how positive emotion begins to take root.
Not through intensity, but through attention.
Not through striving, but through noticing.